Sometimes in I think I’m the most antisocial person in the world. I barely keep in touch with any of my old friends from highschool, and I hardly socialize enough with new people to become anymore than a acquaintance. I was literally to frustrated with myself so I did what any self-respecting person would do, I turned to google. I simply googled how to be social, pathetic I know but hey what are you gonna do? I know how to talk to people but, I just don’t know how to approach people or be approachable. Anyway so I googled it and came across an article on Ehow. It gave me a little hope and so far it’s been working. I won’t tell you everything in the article because some of it isn’t really for us socially handicapped but here’s my version of “How to be a social butterfly from a Antisocial caterpillar”
Step 1. Become less cynical – Yes it’s easy to think of reasons why someone doesn’t want to talk to you, or why you don’t want to talk to that person. But you should be thinking of reason’s why you should. Don’t be picky about your friends they’re not perfect and neither are you.
Step 2. List all the positive things about yourself. – Think about all the good things you do, or stuff you’re good at. Can you eat an entire burger in less than 3 minutes, Good! Not the healthiest thing but good! Do you never miss your favorite show? That translates to your punctual and have an awesome memory. Are you just an all around good person? More reason for people to like you. It doesn’t have to be the nicest list, or have the most typical things, it just has to be about you being awesome! And remember it’s just for your eyes only no one else has to ever see it. It’s just a little pick me up for when you feel down.
Step 3. Stop over-thinking- You don’t know how the conversation will go unless you start on. You won’t know if the person will like you until you say hi, stop thinking that way. When I went to a party last night I was the first one to arrive out of my friends and I knew no one there,freaked me out. I took a deep breath and just introduced myself to the first person I saw not talking to anyone, it was super easy and felt way less awkward than standing all by myself in a crowded room.
Step 4. Get Over yourself- Easier said than done, you can’t constantly be worried what people are going to think about you. Chances are you’re the farthest thing from their mind. Remind yourself, you’re not the center of the universe. While people do love and care about you, there are other things going on.
Step 5. Body Language – People learn more about you from your body language than anything, so make sure they learn something good! Don’t slouch, stand with your shoulders back you’ll look confident and you’ll feel confident. At a party hold a cup, grab a plate, do something with your hands to avoid the arm fold, that’s the universal sign for don’t talk to me. And always smile, it doesn’t have to be big a simple smirk will do.
Step 6. Get Up and Get Out- People don’t know you want to hang out unless you tell them, no one is a mind reader. So hit up your old friend and invite them out for coffee, go get drinks with one of your co-workers after work. It’ll be fun and it’ll take you from being work acquaintances to an actual friendship.
Step 7. Relax- The world isn’t scary or mean, and people genuinely don’t mind starting a conversation. If you don’t have a topic, just ask about them. Are they in school? Where do they work? Do they like it there? Keep it broad and general and it can always get into a deeper conversation, next thing you know you’ve been talking to them for an hour and made plans to hang out the following weekend.
Once you get out of your own head and get into others people will open up more. For me I know these tips worked. And sometimes I do drink the occasional energy drink to get me going, all that sugar gets me hyper and keeps me smiling. By the time my sugar high goes down I have such a positive energy going people are just drawn to it!