I wanted to take a break from all the art and fashion and really get real with you guys for a second. Today when i was driving home I just started thinking about life and all the many chapters I have. From highschool when i was trying to be edgy , then college when i partied way to hard til now.
It never fails to hear criticism from everyday people. Take for example the shopping trip to the mall I had just the other day. It was gorgeous out so I put a little more effort into my outfit and put on a striking lip color, blue. I was looking for a new look that felt like me, and fell head over heels for the color. As I glanced in the mirror, I loved it even more and headed out to the mall. I felt so confident until I felt eyes of two ladies burning into my skull. Of course it had to be the lipstick and I dismissed it until I heard one of the women whisper to her friend “why would she come out the house looking like that? ” followed by some quiet snickering. I rushed to the dressing room to examine myself, only to find nothing was wrong.
“It must be the lipstick ” I thought, realizing that the only colors you see on people’s lips are either pink, red, or purple. I was different and that didn’t sit well with them. As I put a Kleenex to my lips to wipe off the beauty faux pas, I paused. Why should I change who I am or what I like for people I don’t even know & probably won’t ever see again? I took me 22 years to be comfortable in my skin and be confident enough to wear whatever I wanted. Why stop now just because it’s not someone else’s cup of tea? Everyone isn’t going to like you, or what you do. As long as your happy and proud of yourself everyone else can go suck it.
Reminding myself of that I wiped off the lipstick and applied a fresh coat of the same blue shade adding a shimmery glossary to make it stand out even more and walked out the dressing room head held high. As I continued shopping I said a polite hello and smile to the two ladies that laughed at me earlier. As I continued shopping through the mall I felt the eyes of hundreds of strangers fall upon me, this time however, I didn’t flinch or hide my lips in shame. I proudly smiled and wore my blue lipstick with pride. Finally happy with myself and needing no one else’s approval on my appearance I gained more confidence and self respect. Don’t mind what others say or do. No matter what you do someone is going to hate it. Everyone is different, everyone has different opinions of what’s beautiful and what they deem acceptable. So they’re going to talk, people love to talk! So you might as well give them a hell of a story.
When I was in 8th grade I had an eating disorder. I would only eat a brownie at lunch and do tae bo tapes until I collapsed from exhaustion. I was trying to be as skinny as possible, no goal weight, no ideal size, just skinny. Why? Because everyone around me thought I was fat, but I was really only a size 5. I didn’t read fashion magazines at that age and I wasn’t obsessed with Hollywood and having an image, I just wanted to lose weight because every 5 seconds someone I knew would poke me in the stomach and say “got a little pudge there. ” or simply tell me I was fat.
There wasn’t a model pressuring me to lose weight, it was people in my life. That’s why I don’t get the whole Photoshop is killing girls self esteem thing. Granted I know there are girls who idolize celebrities and models and want to look like them. And I’m not going to say that it’s not a good place to start but but if you ban it people are just going to find other things to try to replicate. Like the people at school When I was in high-school there was a girl, I don’t know her name, but she was gorgeous. I would literally stare at her walking down the hallway and think to myself “why can’t I just be her? ” I still remember what she wore the first time I saw her, a long deep green trench, black knee high boots and a fierce blonde pixie cut. Among other girls I would try to emulate she was the main one that ate at me. I would try and try with my clothes and still just never quite got it. I started to think I was ugly and it weighed down on me.
So you see, ending Photoshop won’t help at all with a girls self esteem because there are plenty of prettier girls in the world that they’ll want to look like. Whether they see them on Instagram, Tumblr on Facebook, they’ll look at her and say “why don’t I look like that?” What we need to do is tell these girls that they’re beautiful, and treat them that way so they know they are. Sometimes its a phase, I didn’t become happy with my body until I earlier this year. And I still wish I could pick a different body based on how I want to look for that day, or the outfit I’m wearing. But I also know that someone is always going to be prettier than me, dress better or even have a better life in general and that’s ok. Being happy with who you are is a destination each person has to come to by themselves. I feel like self esteem comes with age. One day you’ll wake up and you realize you’re not so bad, and then your life will begin.